Dating and Defining Love

One thing that came to mind this week for me--- I am glad I am not in the dating phase of life!  Don't get me wrong, I loved it when I was in it 22 years ago. I am just happy that I have found the love of my life, Brian, through dating him in many variety of activities.  We hiked, picnicked, watch movies, barbecued, played cards and games with my parents many times, took a couple trips to Utah to see family, went to sporting events, out to dinner, and the list goes on.  I really enjoy getting to know Brian through many activities. 
I liked class this week because I could now look back at my situation and listen to my classmates talking about their dating situations and realize time passes, but much of the same concerns exist. 

We also talked about what defines love.  We came to the realization that there are many degrees of love and many different kinds of love.  I love my spouse because I feel like we include all aspects of love whether it's looking out for each other, a best friend kind of love and a passionate love.  He encompasses what I need.  Besides, how could one not love Brian!  I'm lucky he's mine!

Gender roles

This week we talked on a very controversial topic--gender roles.  I really appreciated doing more research on this topic.  It was interesting to read research, have discussions in class, and talk to others about this topic. In a manual our church published, "A Parent's Guide", chapter 4, it states: "Role identity refers to an understanding of oneself in relation to others. In contrast, gender identity involves an understanding and accepting of one’s own gender, with little reference to others; one’s gender roles usually focus upon the social interaction associated with being male or female. Parents can help children to establish during these years a good foundation for later intimacy by helping them understand true principles about how a son or daughter of God should relate to others in his or her gender roles." I really appreciate this statement because it reminds me that as a parent, Heavenly Father has trusted us to identify with our children's needs and trusts that we will help them understand their gender that he has laid out for us in His plan. 

 In 1995, when The Proclamation to the Family was produced, I couldn't understand why we needed to be told what a family consisted of and the roles of a husband and wife. I soon realized that the world would start to wonder what constitutes a family.  Many researchers have tried to show that one is born gay, but I know that to be false; that we all have a choice.  I do not discredit that one can have tendencies like one who has tendencies for alcohol, or gambling.  It is a choice on us to act on those tendencies. I am grateful for the knowledge I have of my Savior's plan and that it involves an eternal family unit of a father and a mother.   

Mother & Father

Social Classes

This week we had readings, youtube videos, and discussions on different social classes.  I found them very intriguing.  As I did my assignments, there was an experience that came to my mind when I moved back to Idaho after not living here for 20 years.  I would like to share that with you.  I was applying for a job in one of the local schools around here and I had some additional questions to ask the receptionist as I handed in my resume.  She did not know my answers and put me through to the supervisor of that job.  I had mentioned after I hung up the phone to the receptionist that my mom used to work for her years ago.  She then looked at me and then looked at my resume, and said, "so did you put your maiden name on your resume?"  I was shocked and somewhat offended.  Don't get me wrong, I love my maiden name and I am very proud that I come from the parents I do, but I had been married for 20 years, and my name is Shiree Shirley.  I looked at the receptionist, and said , "No, I did not. Shouldn't my experience and name speak for myself?"  Needless to say, I did not get that job.  This experience though reminded me of the social class a small town brings, where you are known for your name and that can carry a lot of weight, for good or bad. 

Family Theories

This weeks topics were a little bit harder for me to understand until I went to class.  Yay! for my professor, Bro. Williams!  He is an amazing teacher who can get a class of  35+ to participate in daily discussions and hold your attention.  At 8:00 in the morning, that can sometimes be difficult! I really love going to class because I know I will get something out of it when I have put in my time before attending class.
That being said, this week we talked about theories.  As we talked about Conflict Theory, Symbolic Interaction Theory, Exchange Theory and Family System Theory, my mind wandered to my relationships with my family that I grew up in.  What kind of family was mine for the most part?  I grew up the 5th child out of eight-five girls and three boys. My family was not perfect.  We had our fights, at times had the mentality of "you owe me one", and definitely some body language reactions as well as sarcastic remarks.  But, I feel very lucky to say that when I look back after all these years of being married and raising my own family, the positive outweighs the negative. My family worked hard together and played hard together.  We were analyzed as a whole, had boundaries-this would be a Family System Theory.  An example of this kind of theory suggests when one person is feeling stress, then the whole family also feels that weight and then each member is relying on each other to help pull them through. My mom died of cancer 15 years ago. She was only 54.  This was extremely hard on my dad and all of us kids.  Because of our tight bonds and love for each other, we were able to lean on each other for strength and support.  This tight circle would occasionally need extra support.  We added to our circle with spouses, grandkids, aunts, uncles, and friends. I feel very grateful for my circle of support!
I also feel very blessed to have the relationship I do with my parents, brothers and sisters!