Raising Resilient Children

So, I said I would be addressing a different topic this week, but I am postponing that topic to address something that I found intriguing from one of my other classes on resilient children.  "How well children respond to setbacks depends largely on how well their parents helped them develop the attitudes and the skills of resilience.   Life is full of trials.  The Lords says that He has chosen us "in the furnace of affliction (Isaiah 48:10), and that we will be "tried, even as Abraham" (D&C 101:4), and that adversity will "give [us] experience, and shall be for [our] good" (D&C 122:7).  Lyle J. Burrup.  After hearing this, we have a responsibility as parents to help our children be able to be resilient to these trials and learn how to be strong individuals. 

This week we talked about risk and resilience.  What does "At Risk" mean?  In class we learned that to be at risk is a behavior or environment that are strongly linked to negative outcomes.  What are some of those behaviors?  Poverty, low birth weight, and lack of education are some that were mentioned in class.  I liked our discussion that talked about some of the at risks factors for those that were in poverty and low birth weight.  These could include the following:  developmental lags, more susceptible to illness, crime, violence, low education, drugs and substance abuse, risky sexual relations, and single parent homes.  The best therapy for these "at risk" individuals is an educated, well inform and involved parent.  Something that affects poverty more than all of these though is No Dad in the Home.  Two parents that are engaged and involved are the best environment for them.  

 

So how does one get resilience? First off, resilience is the ability to "bounce back" from something; it is a resistance to change.  Some of the resilient factors are genetics, environment, independence and temperament.  Qualities that I would like to have my children continue to develop are a hard worker, that they can do hard things, they can make good use of their time to be more productive, they will be resourceful, to lean on their faith and know what it's like to feel the spirit, stay positive even when times get tough, know how to cope when they get stressed, and how to handle and budget their money.    After talking with my partner in class, we decided that our children are always watching us.  We are their example and for the best way to teach our children qualities that we want them to have, we must also exemplify these same qualities.  We are always an example! To be resilient they need to have qualities that they know how to deal with life.  Children best learn from natural consequences of their decisions, but if we do not provide them with tools to know how to adapt, then it will be harder for for them to be resilient.  In D&C 122:7 it says that adversity will "give experience, and shall be for good".