Divorce

Sometimes in life people do something they probably never dream about doing and that is divorce.  After reading articles, hearing testimonies in class, and seeing and hearing data about divorce and blended families, I feel a lot more informed. 
At what point should you divorce?  In class, we decided that neglect/abuse, substance, and adultery were all very valid reasons for divorce, but outside of that, nobody really had an answer.  It is such a personal choice. Studies do show that 70% of couples that work through marital issues over a 5 year span, are very or somewhat satisfied that they never divorced.

We talked about effects of divorce on a family.  Here are some of the results:
1- Children of a divorced parent will most often divorce themselves.
2-Children in a divorced home will often blame themselves because often times the parents end up fighting over them.
3-If there is legal custody of a child and it is 50/50, the child tends to have more "power" over their parents.
4-62% of a mother and child will go in poverty when father is out of the picture
5-The lifestyle of parents change because dad is now paying child support and often times will have to move further away (400 miles on average) to get a better income to pay for two households.

President James E. Faust said, "The traumatic experience one goes through in divorce seems little understood and not well enough appreciated; and certainly there need to be much more sympathy and understanding for those who have experienced this great tragedy and whose lives cannot be reversed. For those who are divorced, there is still much to be hoped for and expected in terms of fulfillment and happiness in life, in the forgetting of self and in the rendering of service to others."

This class has changed my life on insights into families and relationships. I hope to take this knowledge as I continue to raise my family. Again, thanks for following this blog- I have appreciated your comments.

My Forever Family!

Parenting

"To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day as you deal with challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them." - President Thomas S. Monson

 

When I was little, I remember saying that when I grow up the only thing I wanted to be was a mom!  I am grateful for this blessing of having children and having this wish granted!  My children have been the center of my universe!  I love their personalities! I love their hugs! I love our talks together! I love our family trips together! I hurt when they hurt or don't succeed! I love to take care of them! I love to watch them grow physically, academically and spiritually!  I just love them!  

 

Parenting is an exciting time, but it is also a trying time too.  No day is ever perfect, but how a parent deals with the day helps set the tone for the whole house.    We learned of three different types of parenting- Authoritarian-control oriented, few choices, "you must respect me!", Permissive-neglecting child's needs, choices and no consequences, little effort or direction, and Authoritative-friendly, but firm, long term results, consistent, and transparent. I would like to think I am an Authoritative type parent.  Although, I think at times I see myself, depending on the issue, fall into any one of those categories.  I think the important issue to remember is the phrase, "Be firm and friendly."  We can be our children's friends, but we also need to teach them.  Most of the time those lessons are best taught by letting them take the lead, even when it's not the choice you would take and then possibly failing. We may need to step in when it is too dangerous/physical harm, too far into the future, or it affects others negatively.  The goal is not compliance, it is learning.  I am learning. I am not perfect, but I am learning.  I can't say it enough that I am grateful to be a mom to Marissa, 

Josh, Dan, and Abrea!

 

I have absolutely loved this class! I walked out of class this week, and thought-this class is real life.  We will all have relationships and need to know how to communicate.  We all came from families and have been parented or will parent, and we all go through some form of crisis.  Thank you for following my blog.  I have one week left of class, but would like to keep writing for anybody wanting to follow!